Tarik nafas lega...

I've had this heavy heart feeling since two days before. Alhamdulillah.....petang ni dah boleh tarik nafas lega. Walaupun masalah belum 100% selesai tapi sekurang-kurangnya jalan penyelesaian tu dah nampak.

Syukur yang tak terhingga terhadap Illahi sebab memudahkan segala urusan hambanya pada hari ini. Ya Allah! semoga engkau terus mendengar rintihan hambamu ini dan tunjukkanlah jalan yang sebaik-baiknya aku lakukan.

Terima kasih juga pada hubby who continuously give me courage, support and advice without him I think I would just go absolutely bonkers!

A few lessons I've personally learned.....

I admit I am not a pious person. Umur dah banyak tapi sembahyang masih macam budak-budak. Tak consistent, tapi bila berdepan dengan masalah, perasaan jadi takut, tak tenteram. Jantung mulalah palpitation rasa cam nak terkeluar dari dada. Time macam gini takde tempat lain nak mengadu selain kepada Allah.

Bila time susah baru cari  Allah. Bukan bermakna sebelum ni tak sembahyang tapi sembahyang tak kusyuk. Tanpa ada rasa pengharapan yang tinggi to our Creator. Bila susah baru bersungguh-sungguh berdoa. Bak kata suami.....'jangan sombong dengan tuhan, berdoa saja kepadaNya luahkanlah apa saja di hati.....sekalipun kita tahu kita banyak melakukan dosa it's OK as long as we always strive to be better and menyesali perbuatan lalu'.

Makbul atau tidak doa kita bukan urusan kita Allah Maha Mengetahui. But Allah juga Maha Mengasihani insyAllah akan ada jalan yang dibuka oleh Allah swt untuk kita.

I know it's not easy to always do what is right every single day. Kadang-kadang akan terjebak jugak buat dosa-dosa yang sepatutnya boleh dielakkan tapi manusia ada nafsu.....tamak, dengki, irihati perasaan ni semua goes hand in hand. I try my best to rid myself of these feelings but I am not always successfull but nonetheless I still continue to try.........and I hope one day Allah will make me at peace with myself and shield me from my ugly nafs.

Things I want to achieve before I turn 40!

At first I thought of the title "40 things I want to do before I turn 40". But then I thought I don't want to get too ahead of myself so I'll stick with a few first that crosses my mind and add on when I think up of more.

So let's begin.....

1. Perform umrah (ada orang lain muda2 dah pegi, tapi aku tak kesampaian lagi....takpe insyaAllah ada lah rezeki tu nanti)

2. Enroll myself in an ID online course

3. Have my third baby and then factory tutup!

4. Learn how to make soto from my mom (dah tua bangka cam ni pon still lagi tak reti2 nak belajar resepi soto from my mom!)

5. To purchase my first Chanel handbag........tak kesah ler apa style pon, janji original Chanel handbag!

So those are the first 5 that I can think off.......some may be easier to attain than others but hopefully before I turn 40 I can achieve all of them. Of course it can't stop at only 5 at least 20 baru la cabaran sikit!! hehehe....

Third time's the charm!!

So here it is. My third attempt to have my very own blog! I've deleted the first two coz I felt the first one was too personal for public eyes and then realized that the second one was also too personal for public eyes. I dunno...I treat blogs like my own personal diary, writing details of one's life and sharing it with anyone in the world to read is a bit "scary".

You just get carried away sometimes pouring your heart out in blogs not realizing that someone you know might just be reading your blog silently and thinking "Ooooohhhhhh! Macam ni rupa-rupa nyer dia!" :)

So pada cobaan kali ke-3 ini, saya promise untuk cuba tulis benda-benda yang secara relatifnya adalah tidak terlalu personal dan sesuai untuk dikongsi bersama masyarakat setempat.....hehehe!

Boleh ke? Tak tau ler lagi......kita cuba je dulu okay! Kalau jadi lagi.....apa susah kita delete je ler lagi sekali, boleh?! ;P